The Spooky Honeymoon

“I really wished she opted for a hair removal”, I thought.

Well she was ‘almost’ pretty but those wolfy arms really looked scary now.

We got married a week ago. An arranged marriage you see. Guys like us seldom get a chance to woo a girl. I am one of those typical IIT-IIM nerds with spectacles busy with books and codes whom the girls would not even care to notice. So in all my life, I had managed to speak to two ladies so far other than my cousins and mother. One was my boss, whom I think is the lady re-incarnation of Hitler and one is this “weird” lady who shares my surname now.

It was my first night on our honeymoon. I was really excited, especially after all those planning I had made after watching the videos my colleague had suggested me to watch. The videos were too bold needless to say, but it really gave me the confidence on my first night you see.

But all the planning was in vain. Just after dinner, when I thought I should make the move, she said,

“Can we go for a walk”?

“Walk? At 11 o’clock in the night?’’ I thought.

But suddenly I remembered, “It’s all about their mood. Build it up!”  My colleague had said.

So, I thought, may be a walk will be worth it to open ourselves up!

But then things turned weird to weirder.

Firstly, I was desperate to go to Kerala for a honeymoon. But my wife wanted to see Goa. She said, “It would be unique”.

And now, all of a sudden after walking around a kilometre, instead of romancing in the beach, she wanted a little thrill by sneaking in this graveyard on the way.

“Damn! Women are really moody”, I thought.

Bats flying in the night

It was a full moon night. The graves shone like mighty armours of brave soldiers ready to attack. Generally, I am very brave, but right now, with this unwanted glow of the hairy arm of hers, I was feeling a little uncomfortable. And then there was this spooky chill breeze which from nowhere was blowing beside my ears. As I was trying to maintain my calm, some wolf or a jackal or may be an owl had to shout to prove its existence. “Stupid creatures”, I thought.

My wife, on the other hand seemed to enjoy the view, the shouts and the spookiness as if they were so natural. She carefully found out a tomb and sat there.

I wish I could sit as casually like her, but the breeze, the moon, the graves and those hairy hands suddenly urged my bladders to let loose. I wanted to go to the bathroom urgently as it was getting difficult to control.

And amidst all things, I could not but resist staring at her hands.

She saw me noticing them.

“You think I should have shaved them right?”

“Umm.. Well that would have made you prettier”, I wanted to justify my shameless stare.

“Well you see, I have some secrets”, she said.

Though the place was really not suitable for any healthy conversation, but I found that she was opening up. Though, that was good news, but I still couldn’t concentrate as I felt there were shadows around the trees. The spookiness of the place really made me sweat.

Can’t we talk in the hotel? It’s late. Let’s go back

“Late?” she mocked. “Everyone here is late.” She laughed, “Beneath this seat of mine lies Late Robin D’souza. And there in front of you is Late Danniel Joseph. And you say we are late!”

I was really not prepared for a joke at this hour. So, I didn’t know how to respond.

“Well, I said I have a secret. I am a scholar in grave digging and I have this great obsession for ghosts. The reason I didn’t shave my hands is because he likes it this way”. She said.

Trust me; I could not get a single word she said. But whatever she said made me nervous.

“He …? Who is ‘he’?” I asked.

Oh he..! I met him three months back in this graveyard itself. He was so eager to meet you when I told him about you. He is my boyfriend, you know; my very ‘late’ boyfriend, Robin Dsouza. He stays here in this grave”, she laughed.

And as she finished, I swear to God I saw the shadow that was bothering me come towards me. And I heard a heavy voice as the shadow approached.

“How is my girlfriend as a wife..huh?”

My head was spinning like one of those Shane Warne deliveries. And the last thing I could see was a hand, a dead cold hand that touched my shoulder. Then there was a Black Out.

When I opened my eyes, the bedside clock showed it was 2:30. I woke up to find myself in the couch. My wife was sleeping in the bed. I must have dozed away after dinner.

“What a nightmare! “, I thought.

I looked at my wife. She was in deep sleep. Her hand was on her face trying to cover her eyes. “Thank god! It was a nightmare”, I thought. There was a sense of relief. It was really the worst of a nightmare. I walked towards the bed to see her closely.

The moonlight had lit the entire room. As I walked close to her, the bangles in her wrist lowered down and just then I saw her hand. Those hairy hands lit by the moonlight reminded me of my dream.

“Damn! I really wished she opted for a hair removal”, I realised.

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